S [H E] B E [L I E] V E [D]

暧昧是一方永远不说，另一方就永远装作不懂。于是一方永远沉默，一方永远装傻。

曾经，拥有，为何，放弃？

曾经，爱恋，为何，遗忘？

曾经的恋人，今日的陌人。

曾经的爱恋，今日的伤痕。

曾经的缠绵，今日的泥泞。

曾经的曾经。不再有的曾经。

Pretending that my eyes are itchy when I really can't hold the tears anymore. :C

出发点总是好的 你终于离开了
为我好 这点我懂得

不必再争取了 你不该我的

多给一个理由 一个借口 也是多余的

你的每个拥抱 每个亲吻 全都是冷的

说真的没什么 都几岁了 谁没分手过

我不会 感到挫折 舍不得放手 才烦人

这点小伤口 很快就愈合
留下浅浅疤痕 当做纪念 多幽默

只是小伤口 那又为什么

随时碰就随时痛

多给一个理由 一个借口 也是多余的

你的每个拥抱 每个亲吻 全都是冷的
说真的没什么 都几岁了 谁没分手过

我不会 感到挫折 舍不得放手 才烦人

这点小伤口 很快就愈合

留下浅浅疤痕 当做纪念 多幽默

只是小伤口 那又为什么

随时碰就随时痛

这点小伤口 多久会愈合

那么疯狂的爱 两败俱伤 多寂寞

只是小伤口 时间包扎我

你不需要担心我

只是小伤口 时间包扎我

我想念 你给的痛

2PM New Album Released! [ Still 2:00P.M. ]

1 Still
2 I'll Be Back
3 니가 나를 떠나도
4 I Can't
5 I Know
6 Dance2Night
7 I'll Be Back (Club Mix)

♥ 2PM so much!! Nichkhun 独爱 ♥♥♥

SPM Countdown : 20 days // no time to rest!!

別爲單身無病呻吟，單身也可以過得很好。

In ♥ with fairytales :)

I did it! I didn't on my computer for a day and that's yesterday :D To be specific, actually is mommy who forbids me to on it :X

Anyways, had a crazy day yesterday. Not at all crazy, but something crazy took place :) Okay, I'm just awake from my little nap during English lesson, and my 'neighbours' are busily talking about today school finishes early which is 1:50pm (normal:3:30pm). So, I predict that they're just trying to cheat my friend, 'S' so I grinned and said nothing. Then after awhile, 'J' started asking me if I knew this early-finish-school thing and I said with a calm tone: " Today school ends at 3:30pm". Suddenly 'A' who's beside me (who's normally the serious one) told me it's real about school finishes early today, they even showed me that the school gates were open to let cars in and out.

Okay, this is where the part where I started to believe what they said (=.=). I turned here and there to ask more people about this and everyone said, "Yes, it's real." It didn't really affect my transportation actually cause I'll be staying back to study. So I just said, "Ohh." I get a reason of students need to use our classroom for exams tomorrow for our early off, that means we don't have school tomorrow too! Great joy, I thought haha.

1:50pm, bell rang. Almost half of our class is taking their bags and leaving, so I too packed and got my bag and started to leave, when 'J' at the front of the class started shouting, 'my-name, let's go to got-cha office now!'. I was stunned for a minute, then I put down my bottle and the whole class shouted 'Got-cha!', o.m.g. I can't at all describe my feelings then, it's just embarassing, hilarious and stupidity hahaha. Then they started singing birthday song to me, which is still quite far from my real one, but I guess I got a little bit touched because I've never got the chance to have a whole class singing birthday song to me :P

Thanks girls and guys ♥ :)

Ohh! And I think I've gotten a bit darker due to yesterday's strong sunrays! Argh :C I wonder if anything would do a miracle, and to my dark-eye circles please hehe.

Fairytales ♥

Sweet enough,

But they're not going to happen in my life.

UPDATED :)

Gonna use this template for a while, will change a nicer one once I got over with all of this :) Have a little fun with photoshop and ta-daa! Quite comical and funny though hehe.

Today's Rong birthday, although didn't go as planned but it actually turns out to be better! A enjoyable day for him I think, for having lots of friends and even a crowd to celebrate his birthday :) We got him a guitar since he love guitars so much, it's quite touching, I would even cry out if I'm him haha.

I didn't even touch any of my books yesterday although I was VERY free. Argh I hate my lazy habit, it just got control of my mind and activities too :C

在爱情里，
九十九八仙是虚假的，
唯一八仙是真实的，
那就是‘痛’。

去他妈的爱情！
-PS男-

Goodbye, My 'almost lover'

Create a playlist at MixPod.com

I guess all I really needed to move on was your one 'goodbye'. Although you didn't say it but I think it's kinda obvious, I received your goodbye and though it still will hurt at the heart sometimes, but I can really do move on now. At least I'm trying :) The crime of missing someone that much, because of this crime, i'm sick of tears. I look at myself in the mirror and wipe away those evil tears, I looked hardly and smiled to myself, I'm just not suit for tears :D

Talked to mommy last night as she was too cautious of my meal intake bla bla. It's a nice talk though, she helped me figured everything out eventually. "Fate, was never easy to control of, they come and go without any intentions, don't hold on too tightly nor let it go that easily. If he's the one, even though how bad you treat him, he still is; if he's not, no matter how in love you were, he's not. God will arrange nicely your life, just believe in Him and all you need is 'Faith'", that was what she told me, tears just go on it's way for this whole conversation. It's for the best I guess, to share and let it go to someone, close to me. Thanks, mommy :) Loves ♥

Had a cheerful day today :D and I did ate my lunch too, cheers! ♥ I'm kinda full but I still took in every spoonful of rice, fat I know, but I prefer happiness hehe. Heart of mine, tears of mine, still remain as Michelle Chung's property and well, let it stay that way :)

我会微笑

眼泪不准掉

我很好

后来的你好不好

也不会知道

我已经走掉

回忆飞进风里了

The Truth Hurts The Most

"I've moved on without you", I tell this hurtful lie to my heart every single moment I thought about you, to keep reminding me to stop rewinding this awful reality in my mind. But it seems that if i entend to erase and forget, i think about it more, and who can I even blame? I guess there's only me, myself and I to blame.

It's the second week from that particular night, although there's no raining scene of this night, I keep get that feeling, a sad one of course. In some way i'm starting to avoid Wednesday, rainy days and 4th recess. Even if a day goes by, even if a month passes by, all of this just seems more realistic than reality. For two continuous day I've been skipping my lunch and dinner and what left me wondering was why wouldn't I feel a teensy bit of hungry. Maybe daddy's not here to make sure my food intake would be a reason, I kinda miss his cookings though because that's when I ate the most ever since this cruel reality had outspoken my life.

In that road i have walked for a while, hesitate and stop my journey ever since. You've come along and walk past me, there you go never turning back. I remain silence because everything was what you called Fate, but mostly because I didn't have that bravery to shout out to you. Even if I do, it wouldn't make any change to reality, would it? Like a fool, I can't just go on my own way. You've got every reason to grab hold of your own happiness, I could only tap on your back and wish you good luck in everything :)

Goodbye, My Love

OMG this video is so touching! Thought it was quite sweet of the couple at first but cried at the last part of it. Wow when will such guy come into my life? :P (except for the dying part of course)

Stupid appetite starts strikes again, I barely ate any proper meal for today. I despise myself to a point of insanity. For being like this, I despise myself. Even a day two days three days passes by, but I still have that in my mind. Stupidity, yes I admit.

Government school have pass all their mock exams and that's like so nice! They only need to wait for SPM now, and for those who got great result, they need not worry about anything, just revise once in a while then you'll get that vacation after Dec 20 (although I finishes on Dec 14 =D, but gonna have my birthday with biology papers, ISSH :C)

IS registration form is closing on Oct 31 but I haven't pass it in yet, maybe by any chance mommy forgot all about it? :P Okay, keep my mouth shut hehehe.

Gonna shorten my post today, going for dinner later with cousins :) and art tuition later after, ciao ♥

这点小伤口 很快就愈合 留下浅浅疤痕 当作纪念多幽默 只是小伤口 那又为什么 随时碰就随时痛

Time, please stop.

最温暖的天空

却换了季节

在绝望的面前

洒落一地心碎

My heart was tied up so tightly that breathing seems involuntary. Time, I guess that's what I really need after all. But on second thought, maybe I would want it to stop so that I couldn't felt anything, could actually forget everything including you.

Last night while I was about to sleep, I lifted up my hand up and guess what I saw? Blood. They are kinda dried up though. Oh my gawd, shocked enough I check everywhere if I was hurt and no sign of injuries. It was about a few minutes later that I found out I actually coughed blood o_o freak out. No heaty food and lots of water from now on.

I hope I could concentrate on my studies ONLY for these days, to get over with anything related to other than studies. But I realize I couldn't, it's tougher than I'd imagine. I'm worried about my studies but worrying wouldn't do anything better. I knew this, I knew it so clearly that it's adding up to my stressness too. Leave me alone, stress and unbearable pain.

I wonder if I could really accept loving someone again, they say it's a greater way to forget someone by accepting another. I doubt it.

I could really use a wish right now :C

Saturday. Moody Saturday. Moody and lazy Saturday. Moody and lazy with nothing to do Saturday. Actually is I prefer not to do anything haha. Just got back from citymall just now, bought A LOT OF snacks and candies for sneak-to-eat during boring lessons :P

It's really weird how your brain will take you from one thought to the next on this strange, uncharted road but no matter where you start out or which part you decided to take you always seem to end up back at the one thing you really don't want to think about :'( 我的眷恋要何时才能收拾干净呢？

Shorter post today, saw something that I really doesn't want to few minutes before. Yeah, I guess I must not mind and pretend not to have saw it. But I already did, and this makes my night sucks even more.

Fly to the sky and far away

把爱深埋在记忆中，说不出口一种难过，给祝福太多，并不能覆盖我的痛。

Tomorrow exam Excel Paper 3 (Esei) Sejarah! Oh no. Read a little and then there I was, in front of this light-emitting-screen of my desktop. Luckily I do have a purpose, writting blog! It started to become my daily activities slowly now, I get thrilled in thinking what to write but then they are the truth of all truths :)

There you go, criticizing people around you again (although you didn't notice they aren't that fond of you or somewhat). Just think of others' feelings before you say anything would you? Feelings could be fragile and easily offended, so if you're not trying to make everyone displease by what you said, just easily keep quiet and oh well, shut.up.

Wow I can't believe I'd actually finished all my homeworks in school! Applause please :P So I guess I deserve to get a little reward by getting away from B.O.O.K.S today :D Oh and plaster on my finger cause I hold on to my pen so hardly I get cuts! Stupid :'(

原来是美男OST

Just everything I had on my mind, in this simple song.

Something 'bout Love

There's something 'bout love that tears you up;

There's something 'bout love that breaks your heart

-Something 'Bout Love by David Archuleta

Just finish my tuition. A nice one actually because we did have our laughs and little chit-chat among us five people including the teacher hehe :) But what's worrying me the most is how am I'm going to have my account subject in my exams?? I totally have no idea about it and just let time answers me oh no.

Everyday and every moments and every seconds I need to keep reminding myself. That, I couldn't just hold on, I couldn't just think about, I couldn't just have my mind on, I couldn't just pretend there doesn't have a her, of yours.

Well, I still haven't had my proper dinner or any meal since that day and I wonder if my weight would go down just that bit hmm. Tomorrow daddy will be back from KL and I think he won't let me pass dinner that easily. Oh food, please don't make me suffer :(

明天 以后 爱变成了问候

Because I still love you

泳儿-天使的決定

两颗耀眼的星
在同一座城市互相辉映
两颗遥远的心
彼此吸引却不敢靠近
但我直觉很肯定
从你眼里我感到熟悉
同时等待流星
同时怕许愿后失去
最后 我勇敢的爱上你
当时应该很激动 我爱你
三个字守成秘密
谢谢你 给过我爱情
日记里总是天气晴
在我的心里 总有个角落 不让谁靠近
谢谢你 比我先放弃
让我有 心痛的权利
别说对不起 因为我还爱你

我的手心 曾被谁握得好紧
爱 像个卫星 搜寻谁的心
有时谁 太贪心 天使就决定没收 爱情
谢谢你 给过我爱情
日记里总是天气晴
在我的心里 总有个角落 不让谁靠近
谢谢你 比我先放弃
让我有 心痛的权利
别说对不起 因为我还爱你
谢谢你 给过我爱情
日记里总是天气晴
在我的心里 总有个角落 为你~~~
谢谢你 比我先放弃
好让我有 心痛的权利
别说对不起 因为我还爱你
我不曾忘记 我们的 回~忆

You takes my breath away

Kinda busy yesterday with my cousin and all so i'll be entering my post for yesterday now :)

I bought a full plate of food during 3rd recess and believe me, you can hardly see those rice under them! Hahaha. All thanks to Kiki that keep telling me to take more and more and more :P But at least I shared with her because I'm not in that much of an appetite so no food wasted hehe.

My mommy kept asked me to study IS day after day, and all I can was explain, explain and explain. Maybe it was a sign of wanting me to take on A-Level from God? Because everyday I prayed for a guidance from Him although I'm not sure I've got it or not.

I was resting my mind (or else sleeping) during English lesson today when suddenly rain pours down so heavily that all of my classmates hailed and shouted (cause of the heavy rain i think) which make me woke and look out through the window. I saw, blurry scene. Blurry cause of the quick and down-pouring rain. The sky seems grey, grey enough to make my life seems grey too.

相见却不见，想打招呼却低下头，想笑却笑不出，只好擦肩而过。I guess you didn't really mind anyways, there's someone you'd more keen on meeting and say hi, or even have a nice chat with her. It's the 4th recess, I did my friend a favor by helping them to buy food. But I made my way fast, went and back, because I couldn't really bear seeing you with her again.

Our precious memories are really like dreams.

They say it's alright to cry

承诺说得那么铭心刻苦

Sometimes I feel like blog is the one place I can be honest and real, where I don't have to weigh my words and worry about what I'm supposed to say and what everyone is going to think and who I'm supposed to be. On blogger, I don't have to smile and pretend I'm fine even though inside I feel like I'm breaking into a thousand tiny fragments too small ever to be put together again.

I cut my front hair shorter yesterday evening and I get comments saying I look like a baby monkey today =.= I never like monkey so I don't think I like my new shorter ping tou then haha. My first experience that whenever I smell food with strong "food smell' I can't help feeling queasy and down go my appetite level argh. I still can eat food but not that obsess like I was last time, finding food to eat every minute (ignore the exaggerating). The point is, when will my appetite come BACK?? :C

Today I did some homework, I think hehe. They're having PMR starting from tomorrow, kinda miss the times when I had my pmr examination, but then I thought I haven't had study much that time either, ugh and there, add even more tension and STRESS to coming-soon-SPM-terror. I think the best was not to think about it hmm.

Everytime I thought I have gotten you far far away from my mind but tears just spoke out. It understands my feelings, I guess, that's why it goes trickling down my cheeks. Gonna need a super duper strong and effective eraser to erase all those traces of you. If only I could find one.

Things I Never Knew

These few days I run through my thoughts and I found out these things.

I never knew insomnia would prolong for me because I've learnt to sleep whenever I'm in bad mood mode; I never knew why singers sang sentimental songs like it's the end of the world but now I knew; I never realize why sleeping is the best way to pass my time (maybe because I can dream?) but then I hate it when I woke up because that's when the reality speaks up; I never knew you are the first one I thought about whenever I open my eyes from my wake; I never knew thinking about you would bring tears in my eyes; I never knew looking back at your text messages and memories would be so heartbreaking; I never knew moving on needs a lot of courage; I never knew getting over you would seems so impossible; I never knew reminding myself to forget about you would be so hurtful; I never knew loving you would mean giving you up; I never knew waiting would be a waste of time for someone you love; I never knew changing heart would seem so easy to you but not to me; I never knew disappointment bring loneliness; I never knew laughing would be so tiring, smiling would feel so forceful; I never knew you would be the reason for me to stay or leave; I never knew I could thought of all these "I Never Knew" things; I never knew proving myself wrong about all these would be so hard because these are the uncovered truths; I never knew if I can even believe in love now.

I'll back off. Yes I will :)

Never knew I'd fell in love with this song :)

The sun grew dark with mystery

Today, another school day. Got shocked when my science teacher asked me how was I. Sorry teacher, I didn't meant to make you worry, thank you for your concern and I'll concentrate in your class from now on :) Not having proper meals since few days ago, but suprisingly I don't feel hungry at all. But then I realize that hunger couldn't compare the pain my heart bear. Hope I'll get hungry soon because that's when I fully recovered! ;D

Should be studying at this moment, but still feeling lack of something, feeling empty so that's why I turned on the computer and write a blog hehe. Thank you blogger!

Let the hurtful memories scrape away, left with me are nice and touching memories.

莫名的心痛，强颜欢笑，但我会努力的让自己恢复原本的我

抱歉让你们担心了 :)